


They're Very Loud, The Voices

by Gravestone_Monarch



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, M/M, Naegami, Spoilers, Suicide Attempt, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24582229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravestone_Monarch/pseuds/Gravestone_Monarch
Summary: Byakuya Togami.Survivor of the first Hope's Peak Killing game.Makoto Naegi.Survivor of the first Hope's Peak Killing game and the Future Foundation's killing game.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 6
Kudos: 153





	They're Very Loud, The Voices

**Author's Note:**

> (Been considering uploading this one for a while but hey, here we are)  
> (Trigger warning: suicide attempt! If this is a sensitive topic for you, LEAVE NOW. This is a warning in advance. I have a much lighter Naegami fic if you'd like to read that!)

Byakuya Togami.  
Survivor of the first Hope's Peak Killing game.  
Makoto Naegi.  
Survivor of the first Hope's Peak Killing game and the Future Foundation's killing game.  
The two were almost inseparable, despite Togami's cold walls and Makoto's troubled past causing problems every so often.  
The two loved each other. But one day, something happened.

Every day, Byakuya went to work, which left Makoto to his own devices during the day.  
And at that point in time, his own devices were the voices in his head saying he wasn't good enough.  
'They would be survived if you had done something.'  
'He only stays with you out of pity.'  
'He should've left you by now.'  
'You're still a stupid, talentless kid that didn't earn what he has.'  
Every time, he tells them to go away.  
Every time, they get louder.  
He would be lying if he hadn't considered ending it. A few times. But the part of him that said people still cared about him just wouldn't let him do that...  
...yet.

ʜᴇʏ, ᴛᴏɢᴀᴍɪ, ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ?

Today wasn't any different. Byakuya left, the thoughts plagued him for a while, he considered the end, brushed it off, then Byakuya came home from work.  
"Hey, Kuya! How was work?"  
"Shit."  
Blunt. It obviously hadn't been a good day for him, which happened on occasion. But he really seemed stressed today.  
He sat down on the couch, his head in his hands. Makoto walked over and sat down beside him, to which Byakuya usually moved closer, allowing Makoto to trap the man in a hug. He noticed Byakuya didn't make an effort to move, but that was... fine.  
"Wanna talk about it?"  
"No."  
"..."

ʜᴍ? ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ɪᴛ?

  
He was very obviously pissed, but Makoto still tried to calm him down, moving over and hugging him.  
He pulled away.  
"Ngh- hey, Kuya? Is everything oka-"  
"For God's sake, Naegi!"  
He almost winced at the tone, let alone being called Naegi. He was so used to Makoto now.  
"Can't you see I want to be left alone right now?! You're always so eager to have physical contact, can't I just stay separated for a day?!"  
He stood up and stormed off, putting back on the coat he just took off.  
"I..."  
"I'm going out. I'll be back in an hour."  
"Wh... where are you goi-"  
"Mind your damn business."  
And with that Byakuya left, slamming the door.  
Leaving Makoto alone with his thoughts.

ᴏᴋ, ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ɪ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀᴅ... ᴏᴋ?

'You finally broke him.'  
'He's sick of you.'  
'He doesn't love you anymore.'  
'Nobody's going to love you now.'

Naegi had only ever experienced true despair once, but this feeling wasn't too far off.

'Just finish it.'  
'He won't miss you. He's sick of you.'

He was starting to think they were right.

'Just do it.'  
'̵̨̡̣̯̫̾̃J̴̨̡̧̯̝̒̅̋̚ų̸̏s̵̱̩͈̺̦̋̌͌̀t̷̨̞̜̳͙̻̥̳̑̃͂͛̽̓̇͘ ̷̧̢̛̼͖̮̫̪̪̱͙̑̔̒̊̈́̎̉͘ḱ̴̭͊̊̏̍i̸̡͚͕̬͕̙̖͛̾̈́ĺ̵̲̞̣̃̃͆̓̈́̂̉̚͝l̸͌̈̈̑̾̀̉̾̕͘͜ ̶͈̺̲͉̥̝̹̲̗̿͛̅͌̃̎͝y̴̜̔̆͊̒̌ơ̶̦͍͇̻̘̗̋̃͌̃͂͜͝͝û̷͍̣̥̘̳̖̱͉́̀̂̕ŗ̷̟̜̟̪̳̂̋̏̚͘s̴̯̘̝̈̓̒̇̾͋̓͝e̴̲͍͗̌̽̉l̴̨̰̜͓̯͂̽̿̾̔̂f̸̢̘̳̪͚̜̘̬̰͕̀͑̆̽̋̆̽͠͝.̶͕͓̼̳͚̹̹̻̅̿̓̈́͒̏̓̽͝'̴̨̻̺͎̻̝̟͔̉̔͑̅

ɪᴛ ᴅᴇᴘᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴏɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ.

There was a blade they kept in the bathroom for if their razor stopped working.  
That'd work.

'It's better this way.'  
'They'll thank you.'  
'They want this.'  
'He wants this.'  
'You. Want this.'

He stood up from the couch, his legs numb after however long sitting there. He must have been there for at least half an hour, but that was the least of his concern.  
He grabbed a pad of paper and a pen, writing his last words.  
'I'm sorry, Kuya. <3'

ᴀʜ, ᴏᴋ... ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ɴᴏᴡ...

He walked into the bathroom, searching the cabinet for the blade.  
He found it soon enough.  
It was still sharp, so he knew it'd work.  
Now, does he slit his wrists or just go for his own gut?  
Whatever. As long as he finds a vein, the wrists will do.

He readied himself.  
This was it.

ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ...

'Do it.'  
'What are you waiting for?'  
'Just do it.'

The cool blade touched his skin. A harsh reminder of what he was about to do.  
...did he really want this?

ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ꜱᴀʏ ɪᴛ.

He knew one thing. He was going to miss Byakuya, even if Byakuya won't miss him.

'Stop hesitating! Do it!'

He was hesitating.

ᴏᴋ... ʙʏᴀᴋᴜʏᴀ, ɪ...

'He doesn't give a shit about you now! Just do it already!'

ɪ...

Does Byakuya really hate him?

...well I suppose it doesn't matter now.

"Naegi, I'm back."  
He shut the door behind him.  
He heard nothing.  
"Naegi? Come on, I wish to talk."  
Silence.  
"...Makoto..? Makoto, please..."  
He didn't say please often. He wouldn't admit it, but he had a bad feeling.  
Somewhere deep down, he was scared.  
The note on the table caught his attention.  
"Hm..?"  
He leaned down and picked it up, reading it.

ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ!

"...wait, what..?"  
He heard a thump against the bathroom door.  
That couldn't be good.  
"Makoto?!"

Then he pieced it together.

"Fuck, wait, no! Makoto!"

He sprinted to the bathroom as fast as his legs would carry him, which was surprisingly fast. The door wasn't locked, so with a bit of force he got in.

"Makoto?!"

There lay his boyfriend on the floor. The man he loved so much, reduced to this by the way he spoke to him.  
His sleeves were rolled up, fresh blood pouring all out of it. A blade had clattered to the ground beside him, and he was just barely conscious.  
"B... Kuya..?"  
"Oh my goodness, I can't believe this..! Makoto, stay awake. I'm calling for help." He explained, fumbling around for his phone in their pocket.  
"...Ku... ya..?"  
"Makoto, it's going to be ok..."  
"I... l-love... you..."  
And he was out.  
"Wh- Makoto, no! Ah, hello? Yes, I need emergency services stat. ...Yes, it's my boyfriend, he's bleeding out. ...My adress? Yes, yes, it's..."

...ʜᴏᴡ ʟᴏɴɢ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ?  
...ꜰᴇᴡ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜꜱ.  
ᴡʜʏ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ?  
ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ᴄᴀʀᴇ. ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴀʟʟ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ.

ᴍᴀᴋᴏᴛᴏ. ɪ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʀᴇʜᴇɴᴅ.

"Ngh... wh..?"  
"...Makoto?"  
Makoto opened his eyes, wincing at the brightness of the hospital room. Looking to his left, he saw Byakuya, who he hadn't noticed was holding his hand until that point.  
"B... Byakuya..?"  
The next thing he knew, he was held in a light hug from the other man.  
"Makoto, I'm... I apologise for yelling at you. I was... stupid. Absolutely stupid."  
"Byakuya..?"  
"You were only trying to help, and I made you feel like you had to... try that."  
"Byakuya..."  
"I-"  
"Byakuya..!"  
He finally stopped talking, looking into Makoto's eyes. Ice blue eyes stared down into dimmed hazel ones. They were something Naegi had noticed about Byakuya the day they met. Well, he noticed alot of things, but his eyes were, in his opinion, beautiful.  
"It... wasn't your fault, I promise."  
"...Makoto?"  
"No, it was me..! Don't be so upset... I'm fine, I promise!" He gave a small smile; the best he could muster with whatever energy he had.  
Neither spoke for a moment.   
"...Makoto, I could have lost you."  
"Hm..?"  
"I know at times, I may not be... the best partner, but I care about you, Makoto."  
"Heh... I missed that. 'Makoto'." He chuckled lightly.  
"I'm sorry I ever stopped."  
Makoto stopped for a moment, eyes widened. Byakuya noticed.  
"What?"  
"You said sorry..!"  
"I... have done that before?"  
"I know, but... you usually say 'I apologise'. Sorry is... different?" He said, laughing a bit more.  
Crazy how someone can try to kill themself then laugh like nothing happened.  
"Heh..." Byakuya let a small smile grace hid face, before it faded.  
"...Makoto?"  
"Yeah..?"  
"...How long have you felt like this?"  
"...Few months."


End file.
